By Andy Rooney
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Silence can be scary. There are people who seem oblivious to sound. They can edit it out. They leave their radios and television sets on while reading the newspaper. They find the sound of voices comforting. Well, I don’t. I find soundlessness comforting. In the country this summer, I’d awaken every morning to the sound of absolutely nothing and the silence was golden. Don’t You Hate It When . . Don’t you hate it when: • You finally find time to go to the movies and the only thing playing is something you don’t want to see?
Dogs can vary the sounds they make almost as much as humans can. You know a lot about what your dog has in mind from the manner in which it barks, yelps or whines. It doesn’t seem to me that birds can alter the noise they make but I don’t know that. When a flock of them in a tree senses the presence of a cat, the bird noises are louder and more frequent but otherwise sound the same as their chirps. The difference between sounds is often definite but not easy to define. We can tell a yell from a scream but couldn’t say precisely why.
It’s as close as we come to immortality and that makes genealogy worth something. Not Dying To Die If you were given an envelope containing the day and date you were going to die, would you open it? Most people would rather be surprised even though there would be advantages to knowing. If you knew you could organize your treasures in the basement, the garage and in closets and drawers around the house. Knowing would— you’ll pardon the expression—be a deadline. There are several other things you’d do and not do.
Common nonsense by Andy Rooney